A Poem for 2018

It’s New Year’s Eve.  

With every firework you 

are supposed to feel another drum beat 

that hits your heart 

and shames you into the revelation 

that tomorrow you need to get fit 

get thin 

get whatever you think you need to get 

to be good enough. 

 

With Auld Lang Syne 

you are meant to lament the passing of time. 

Ideally wonder ‘what have I done with mine?’ 

Think ahead to what’s to come. 

 

But I know you. 

I know your name 

I know your love and your pain. 

I know every list you have ever made. 

And I know that when the dawn of 2018 breaks 

You will run a finger across the scratched ink 

Of the things you want to do 

And you will think of those that have come before; 

Wry smiles at the time you reckoned ‘getting a boyfriend’ mattered more than anything 

And the sadness that it was always followed by ‘lose weight’. 

No matter what. 

At all costs. 

Even when it isn’t on that paper 

It writhes in your mind. 

When you thought for years in a row you would move out this year 

When did resolutions become to do lists that drowned you? 

When did Auld Lang Syne become the chant of shame 

For never being enough 

For the dresses too small, you too big? 

Bags of material unstitched 

Books unwritten, and you, in your mum’s house, hiding out 

Having decided against dieting and boyfriends- 

Favouring girlfriends and feminism, 

What else is there to do but thumb next year’s list? 

 

A better idea: sleep through the dreadful singing, give up on the pressure-  

I promise you you will feel so much better. 

 

Happy New Year. 

 

 By Dawn

 

This poem is one of those written more as a letter to myself than a poem! I often write for catharsis and this is a loud example of that. I also tend to write very honestly and don't filter much out; having 'get a boyfriend' was indeed a resolution of mine for a few years, and having been in a relationship with my girlfriend for almost 9 years, it makes me grin to think about how much life has changed! This poem is really a letter to my past self, telling her it's going to be ok, as well as a letter to present and future me telling me that...it's still ok, that there is no need to drown in pressure-filled resolutions and that dieting doesn’t solve anything, and that there is still time to do what I want to do. 

I hope that it resonates with others too...as for the last stanza, I will most likely sleep through all of it and will be spending a bit of New Year's Eve writing down what I want to do this coming year and how to do that while remaining healthy mentally and physically! 

 

How is New Year for you? What do you feel about it – are you celebrating in the usual way? Or an unusual way perhaps? Let us know your resolutions and reservations. We hope 2018 is amazing for you. 

 

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