Feeling the love from within on Valentine’s Day
We are in the short season where everything is pink, covered in heart-shaped confetti, Greggs is taking dinner bookings in some parts of the UK (and to be fair I would be up for that!), and Baileys just brought out a strawberry flavour. That is just the beginning of what is happening in your high street – I’m always curious to see the most extravagant thing! (show us what you find!).
I personally love all the cheesy “tat” you find in shops. Uncharacteristically for a cynical, often emotionally distant person, I very much enjoy what can be done to rebrand anything you could imagine. I’m pretty sure I have stockpiled stuff that went on sale but then forgotten where it is completely.
For some people, it represents everything from consumerism to highlighting how they feel, which isn’t always what they want, and if that is you, then keep reading – I promise you this isn’t simply a letter of thanks to those in branding who have made it all pink and seen the money roll on in.
Not anymore, anyway. That section of my blog is over. Promise.
Love comes in so many forms – not your traditional romantic love. If you’re lucky enough to be in a healthy, loving relationship yay you – enjoy, but don’t forget (especially if your relationship is very new and has taken over your whole life in the best of ways) that there are other ways to see and show love.
True love starts at home?
The RuPaul saying, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?” is one I have been on the fence about for a while. I think it is absolutely possible to love someone else and hate yourself. I have done it.
I’m not sure how much faith to put in one of Ru’s many catchphrases, but I do know this: you can love someone else while you aren’t a fan of yourself, but respecting yourself – at least being able to like yourself a bit – makes it a whole lot easier to accept their love in return without constant questioning and paranoia, and without being dependent on them for your own self-worth. (Which is exhausting, and not a particularly healthy way to be in a relationship, in my opinion. Other’s lived experience may be different.)
If that seems like I’m speaking alien, don’t worry. It has taken years of thinking, writing, and work to get to the point where I can even suggest it, let alone think it. You can get there too, if you need to, hopefully faster than I did!
And you don’t have to want to or already love somebody else to work on your relationship with yourself, either. You have a long time with yourself – it’s only polite to be friends!
See yourself how your loved ones see you.
People say ‘I love you’ in a lot of different ways. I may not have heard it in those three little words every day but it sits in the air when someone asks ‘how are you?’ or brings you a cuppa and a biscuit without being asked. Look out for those who take care of you innately – the chances are you return the favour.
Think about how you see them, and how much you appreciate them. Take a minute to think of a way you can show it – whether it’s by making them their favourite food, writing a surprise note somewhere they will find it, or by doing a chore they hate for them. It doesn’t have to cost anything.
Now think about what they see in you. If you know, enjoy the thought. If you don’t – ask them! You can call it fishing for compliments but I like to see it as ‘searching for positive affirmations I may have missed’! You are your own worst critic. Realising that others think a lot more of you than you do (even if you have a positive relationship with yourself) is a great boost when you need it.
Share some love
If you don’t want to celebrate the consumerist side of things by giving money to billionaires, indulge in some random acts of kindness to people you don’t know. Kindness boosts your own self-worth. Why not?
Here are some ideas:
Find an old handbag, fill it full of essentials; bottled water, paracetamol, sanitary products, money if you can afford it, and give it to a homeless woman (or person, but swap sanitary products for something else!).
Leave a kind, waterproofed note somewhere public.
Shop with a small business for V-day or a future birthday.
Take someone’s dog for a walk on borrowmydoggy.com or offer to walk rescued dogs in your local area.
Give someone a genuine smile.
Buy the Big Issue. Read it. It’s quite good.
Share Mindfizz with everyone you know. (We love you too.)
If nothing else, enjoy the 15th February, when you can crack your knuckles and clean up on all the bargain chocolate (or stock up for next year on tat then forget where it all is!).
All our love,